Maira

Maira sings in shadows is a lithe, small figure. The most startling about her is her white skin and white hairs and red eyes. She is a striking figure though, with her slender, graceful frame, her flowing movements. As you get to know her better, her most striking feature is maybe, apart from her coloring, her voice. A beautifull, warm, deep voice, dripping with honey, both for speaking and singing. She is a Fianna Garou, born out of a love match of two Fianna. That means of course she is a metis, and her taint is her coloring.. And unfortunately, being a metis is a taboo amongst many tribes of the Garou, except maybe the Children of Gaia, but amongst the Fianna, something worse is hardly thinkable.. So when her parents died while she was growing up, still very young (about 12 years old) the rest of her Fianna sept, the sept of the Green Bough, in Ireland, decided they did not want to keep Maira on the charity of the group, and threw her out.. And she has lived alone ever since, never completely trusting anyone..

So she lived alone, surviving in the hard city, yet also still aware of the world beyond the obvious. She knows of Werewolves and other strange happenings, magic and moonlight, and for her it is normal, though she feels she has been exiled from it.. Untill a year ago, when she was staying in New York, and the sept in the Central Park decided to throw some Garou together they saw stumbling into their territory, give them basic training, and then push them through the adulthood rites, in the hope of getting a new sept with strong blood. Maira was angry and roaring at the pushing, and yet, she knew most of Garou society of her fellow initiates, and has helped them with that part.. And then, when the adulthood rites started, they were pushed over the moonpaths, and ended up in Canada, and found there a big threat set up by Shadowdancers, aided by Vampires.. And Maira tried to do her best to convince the Garou of the local Wendigo sept, the sept of the Icy Fangs there that they had to listen to her, but she did not trust her fellow initiates and was seen as a cub and a metis at that, and could not convince them at all. And of the whole group, she made the most valiant effort at that..

Maira decided to try and work out some of the problems on her own, but was not strong enough. She tried to convince the local Garou of the danger while letting the rest of the initiates fumble on, but the first group she met was a group of young, haughty Garou, who were not going to take her seriously either. Maira got LIVID, and decided to finish it once and for all. She challenged the leader, Snarls at Fleas, a Fostern Ahroun, to a duel, laughing at him when he was telling she was a threat to the rest of the group. Telling him how could he be scared of a pup? And the duel started, and by a miracle (and by her swiftness and grace and her gift of Past Life) Maira won, and Snarls at Fleas was shamed.. And Maira was seen as an adult from that moment on, granted by the Canadian tribe. But she still worked alone, and they still did not believe her. And she decided to try and enter the den of the enemy, but got badly hurt while trying to. And she would have died were it not for a bear-shifter, Bill.. So she owes Bill her life, and is open to other shifters, maybe more so then Garou. Maira left the grounds she had found her adulthood in, since there was little she could to, and started travelling once more, but this time more angry then frightened, and not a child anymore.

She then travelled in the states and ended up in Larson, and there to her great surprise found a sept that would accept her. The Sept of the Storm’s Eye. She remained there a long time, between one and two years. She became Tale Spinner even, and wrote many songs in that period which you find below. Some high points of her time there were her acceptance in the sept, which surprised her so she wrote about that too. Meeting an old Fianna kinfolk named Gaugh who felt a kinship with her because he had been treated by his father badly because his bad leg was interpreted as a metis trait, though he was no Garou. Gaugh offered Maira a room in his great house and she lived there all the time she was with the Storm’s Eye. Gaugh died of cancer though not long after, and anohter song can be found below about that.Then the next happenings concerned a Fianna called Tripp Feahy. He was in love with Maira and she with him, but it was a strange kind of love, overpassionate, pushing and pulling,w ith angry outbursts on either side regularly. Tripp pulled Maira along demanding she leave the sept for it would not give her the honor she deserved he said. He demanded she choose between sept and him, demanded she either go with him or never see him again. Maira tried this, hard, for two whole weeks she succeeded. but she grew depressed, and more depressed, and more depressed, and saw no way out anymore. The spirit Raven in the mean time had spoken often to Maira, giving her messenges, she had grown to be more or less the messenger of the sept as well. And Raven brought an important message that could not be denied and WAS to brought to the elders of the sept, and Tripp allowed Maira to do so (he was holding firm control of her by now). There was a big face off in the middle of the local tavern, with Maira trying to tell the Elders she HAD to leave and finally moving to her knees to beg Tripp not to ask her that. And Tripp left, angrily. Maira had chosen the sept.

Tripp returned not long after that, trying to convince Maira again to come with him, but she would not. He told her he had told the Fianna she was dead. Maira was angry, but did not allow Tripp any further hold on her. A good friend of her suicided (Kitaran) and Maira was sad about that a long, long time. Then there was a fight between her and a kind of technomancer mage, which she won, and killed him. The mage was standing in the forest shooting Ravens, and Maira could not let him do that. She tried to warn him and when he would not take heed finally attacked. Maira killed him and felt bad about that, had wanted it to be different, and it took time for her to realise she had not broken the Veil. A fire spirit helped her clean away the body, staging a carcrash which Jade helped her to set up. In return for this help Maira swore to the fire spirit she would sing it’s glory at the next moot. At a certain moment Jade, the leader of the Sept and a friend to Maira finally got Maira so far to challenge for Fostern. She was told to lead a back against two wyrmy boar creatures and slay them, burning the remains. Maira did lead this pack and they slew four of the beasts. At the moot Maira was to sing of her deeds, and gain Fostern rank with such. Maira knew there was a Fianna moot in Boston a few days before the moot of her own Sept and decided to go there. She had promised Tripp she would go back to them once. There she heared Tripp had been killed. Further she spoke to the Arh-Righ, the Fianna High King who was there on a visit and told him of Tripp’s story. When she was celebrating that Fianna moot a Fostern rank Galliard came and took her for a walk in the woods and almost raped her had she not beaten the shit out of him. Luckily they were witnessed and for a change Maira was given the right. The other Garou, Iian, was sent to Erebus, and she returned home again with her friend Mash who had followed her, to be in time for the Storm Eye moot.

Then something strange happened. The night Maira was holding wake, preparing for the moot at which she was to sing the fire’s song, her own deeds, and gain Fostern rank, she disappeared. And along with her, her lover Timmy and her friend Mashamti who had been in that pack she led disappeared as well. They have not been seen near Larson since..

What happened was that Maira had gone to Dublin because she had found proof of a shipment of genetic dangerous material to be sent there with a VERY strong wyrmy scent on it. She found it it was sent to the great Fianna place and though she did not feel at home with her people felt she should warn them. She had no time to stay for the moot. Timmy and Mash caught her wanting to sneak out and when they heared what was going on they decided to go with her. They went to Dublin where they were welcomed by the Fianna but because of her birth (as metis) her warnings were not listened to and the monsters created by the dark side with the genetic material greatly harmed the sept there, untill there were no garou left. Maira tried to fight them but was left out of most of the happenings since she was not trusted and was not told what was happening when. After the whole Dublin group showed her such disacceptance she decided to leave once more, and not lose time with talking to people who would never change anyways.

Maira was next seen in Tampa, where she was her usual grumpy and irritating self. She and Mash were one of the few Garou who were active in Tampa Bay and she was trying to make this work better then at the last places she was staying. Mash after a while became alpha of a growing sept based where there were only a few before, and he made Maira DenMother and asked her to take care of his baby son. She did so with much love but was not happy with the way he was leading the people, and tried to tell him so now and then but it was hard to get through. In the mean time Timmy and she had a good relationship, allthough more and more signs were becoming clear that Timmy was sleeping around pretty heavily, but Maira did not really care about that, as long as she was still the most important. But others in the sept felt that she was not keeping her ‘kinfolk’ under control enough. Maira was getting more and more irritated with how things were running. She decided to tell Mash of her doubts so that he could not get around them this time. She told him she’d leave the sept and go Ronin but he felt she was just being pushed by Timmy who did not get along with Mash at all. Still she was not taken seriously, and she wonders if there will ever be a time that she will be. Then after a few weeks suddenly Mash disappeared after heavy allegations had been made on his address, and he took his baby son, without a word to Maira. Only shortly thereafter she decided to go on walkabout with Timmy, to think and decide what she wanted to do, and while they were out of Tampa Timmy was found in his wife’s bed by a jealous husband and shot to death. Maira returned, more ironic and bitter then ever, and has since kept herself on the edges of the now much more active group of Garou, not getting involved or doing much of anything. The only positive thing was that she was challenged by Freja to show herself Fostern by writing an epic,w hich she did, though after long deliberating and nerving about the right words, and a lot of sharp words to Freja. Yet the epic was made and Freja named her Fostern. She is proud on the one hand and feels ignored by Garou society on the other, the fact she had to prove twice that she was worthy of the fostern rank only making her feel less worthy.

Song to my parents (on the melody of the Loch Tay Boat Song)

I’ve always known myself to be, a child of love and ecstasy,
and yet still I cannot see, why you had to love each other,
for I’m loathed and despised, I see hatred in most eyes,
and the kin I have are biased, against my father and my mother.
So why did you not refrain, from the love between you twain?
For what good was there to gain, but a lasting honor stain?
This I wonder every day, my pain will never go away,
and I wonder when I’ll say, that I loved you anyway.

And I’m very angry too, for this body’s faults came through
all you could not stop to do, for it gave you only pleasure.
Then by death you had to leave, left me all my life to grieve,
and now all that I believe, is that hatred is each measure.
So what force makes love so strong, that it cuts through right and wrong,
and did not leave me among, the only thing for which I long?
For my people do not see, that there’s also good in me,
and I’ll never find their key, thus alone I’ll ever be.

Song to Gaugh..

As I feel the love you give to me, know your heart is as strong as fire,
I can only gladness see, and finally I have my deep desire.

For my family have I lost, and I know that was your fate too,
and we both have felt the cost, for we never could just start anew.

Both alone for a time so long, that we almost forgot about,
joy and warmth and love so strong, that it makes the heart and soul sing out.

You reach out to those lonely hearts, I’m impressed with all that you give,
for you’ve given many starts, to the ones who again dared to live..

Reaching out is still hard to me, and still I’m not yet used to that,
but I promise you will see, my trust to reach out for this sharing yet.

Song to the sept of the stormy eye

As I am welcomed within your circle, my heart feels hope shine, yet also fear,
and trust for me is so hard to learn since I’ve never felt others come so near.

I see your strength and also your weakness, I see success, but the failure too,
and I don’t know what gifts I can offer, because I know that my strengths are few.

All I can give to the fight is music, all I can give to the sept is doubt,
All I can know of our lives is hatred, all I can see wrapped in misty cloud.

My songs are yours, that’s if you will have them, my dreams are reaching far to your side,
My strength and will I’ve already given, against that dark force we all must fight.

And what you’ll choose, I will stand beside you, for you have taught me I shouldn’t hide.

Listen..

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision’s misty veils.
The singer tells the stories, the stories of the past,
for when all is forgotten it’s the stories that will last.
The story shows the truth that’s hidden deep within our soul,
so if you listen well it will then make your knowing whole..

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision’s misty veils.
The tales are all the answers to questions of before,
the thing is that we do not have the questions anymore.
So never undrestimate the power of a tale,
for wisdom in that form never will grow unfit or stale.

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision’s misty veils.
A song shows truth and vision, a knowing deep and strong,
for you can find the live of life and feeling in a song.
So listen to the music that will lift soul and heart high,
and feel how a good song can make the spirits of all fly.

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision’s misty veils.
And know the truth is hidden in lyrics or in words,
but if the song finds you with hate, or joy, or if it hurts,
then know that you have found the truth, and you will seek no more,
and you will know the truth of what I’ve said as none before..

Listen to the singer, the Spinner of the Tales,
she will show the truth between all vision’s misty veils.

Love and hate

I join you at your table, in my hand a glass of beer,
you laugh and grin at me, your teeth are white, your smile a flash.
I saunter close, sit down, and lay aside my balladeer,
you speak to me, and ere I see, our words make a great clash.

You say you understand me, yet cannot see why I won’t
tell you what others told me in the faith that I would keep
it to meself and will not prattle all these words, I don’t
feel that you are not worthy but my ethics are too deep.

So why then do you harshly growl, your look both sharp and dark,
tell me it is your business, when I know these words should go
only to the one that they were meant for, yet you bark
at me and call me words that really hurt me as you know.

And so I lurch at you, and kick, would throttle if I could
and all my anger, all my hate, is centered in this fight.
And as I push to hurt you hard as I hadn’t known I would
I cannot stop to wonder are you really on my side?

If we are friends as you had said, then why can you not stop
to push me and to anger me, unfold the darkest deep,
and might it not be wiser if all contact I would drop?
Because each time we meet more love and hate for you I keep.

And yet, though I have hurt you more in body then you see
to hurt me in my soul I am surprised when fighting ends
and laughter runs to clear the air that flows twixt you and me
I wonder are we enemies, impassionate, or friends?

Wild the Storm

Wild the Storm, and wild the wind is strong and darkly blowing
as in the land the power of the wyrm’s steadily growing.
Against the darkness that it casts over the land I know one cure,
and that’s the martial power of Garou which guard for sure.

Dark the wyrm, and dark the shadow that it casts into this ending
as it seems that there is nothing left to prevent the final blending
of men’s power and men’s disregard of our sweet Mother Earth,
but we, Garou, the Guardians will try to stop that hurt.

Fight! She calls out. Fight! My children, guard for us the future
clean the gangreen out of the wound, and bleed it through the suture,
clean out the evil which you trample, howl defiance in it’s face!
Dance the dance of life and with that still your death embrace..

For She will help us, and her helpers, spirits strong and knowing,
Grandfather Thunder and his children keep the power growing.
Let us all be like the Storm! For we all are His wards,
let the force of our fight be spread throughout all parts.

Wyrm’s child

I saw her crying tears of blood, her flowing tears a dark, dark red,
I heard my heart sing with her strenght, sing with the courage that she had,
a child of Wyrm, yet this was true, to all our deep surprise,
a soul of truth, a soul of us, was shining through her eyes.

I saw her speak the truth to all, regardless of all that she feared
I knew her voice, for truth and strength it sang, which all who were there heared,
And hope sang in my heart as well, harmonious in song,
for I saw that the Wyrm would lose this one before too long.

But Wyrm has no love for its children if they work against it’s will,
and she did speak clear against it and she was remorsing her choice still,
when the Shadow Dancers took her for she worked against the Wyrm
and she died because she stayed in her conviction strong and firm.

So now, her broken body lies there, trampled, wrapped in iron thread,
an empty shell from which all I could recognise as her has fled.
And Anger burns within me as her tears, a dark, dark red,
and how I wish that Wyrm had slain another’s children dead..

To all who have hurt me

Sharp glittering knives I would cast in your flesh, and then turn them around,
with a gentle smile rub salt in your wounds after that.
Laugh cruelly down upon you as you struggle, with metal thread bound,
and vengeance will be much more sweet then all things I have had.

It makes a dark song in my soul with these words as its whispering tune:
I Hate you! I Hate you! that’s all I can think of and more.
And yet in this darkness my hate shines as silver as light of the moon,
as I feel it glitter and shimmer deep down to the core.

And why is She here, She the Moon, She the image of nightmares, Grey Dove,
And whence did that light come? That light that makes shadows so clear?
No light without shadow, no will without weakness, no pain without love,
and all who have hurt me, who still hurt me most, are so dear…

Meeting the Shadow

I am not sure just what to say, and yet I feel I should,
for if I don’t, well in that way, lies such despair that could
just paralyze all that I am, if I wait to tell you,
what’s hiding now behind the dam, which here in my heart grew.

The waters of my feelings churn, their wildness scares me so,
I feel I dare not ever learn to really get to know
the anger, grief, despair and rage that all in one big flow
might soon break through and set the stage for hate I’ve never known.

This shadowmonster in my mind I’m so afraid to face,
opposed to all in me that’s kind, has hated all its days.
It hates and rages all through me, screams every night and day,
I wonder why I couldn’t see what I have kept at bay.

And at the crossroads now I stand, for I cannot be sure
if I should make that beast my friend, and thus hope for a cure,
or keep it under lock and key, and never let it out,
I cannot in the future see what that would bring about.

But keeping it locked up so tight will not work any more,
and it is trying hard for flight, for a wide opened door,
so I fear I don’t have much choice but to come face to face,
and listen to it’s growling voice, and thus find newer ways.

Kitaran

So far away, I miss you so
Your voice so soft, your eyes aglow
You’re the best friend I’ll ever know
I miss you so, Kitaran.

I wonder why you sought the end
Was it too hard to bow and bend?
And why I cannot comprehend
could you not stand, Kitaran.

You fought so hard, to keep your own
And all your life, you’d been alone
You had in rage and anger grown
that much was shown, Kitaran.

But hope was with you all that way,
it danced around you every day
and helping things to you did say,
so you could stay, Kitaran

But then you lost that hope in grief
And lost of dawn and day belief
and thought all hope, and us, naive
and thus we grieve, Kitaran.

For you have left us, others, me
I only know that we must see
that hope could only have saved thee,
Now thou art free, Kitaran.

The love of oneself.

Long were the lessons I learned in my life,
heavy the hardships, and hollow the hope
surely deep sorrows and serious strife
caught me in cares and I could hardly cope.
But now I realise though reasons are rife,
that love of yourelf is the light of one’s life.

I left kith and kin and felt lonely and lost,
and nothing I know now brings me anew
the cure for those cares, since my kin cast the cost
of their sorrows on my shoulders and their silence only grew.
And so I was cast out of hearth and of home,
and love of myself thus I never have known.

but high is the hardship of holding out love,
as a stone saps the strength of the soul holding out
the weight as will wanes to wring it aloft
with help there is hope but there’s hardship without
another advance to allow extra strength
and love of yourself gives that aid then at length.

So now I have seen such sorrows seem small,
in love’s life that’ll lift and turn into light.
And all other aid I’ve accepted as well
to grow and to gain then a more gentle might.
So I will accept love and light in me’ll grow
and love of myself is a new path I go.

The Hidden Shadows

To the eye it seems so clear, fresh and bright your eyes do meet.
yet the hidden atmosphere is so dark and foul beneath.
As I walk these hidden paths where the dream of joy is sold,
shadows that a deep grief casts make strange patterns, forms untold
Thus I know I must take heed
And I feel it rise, my fear
That my nightmares I will meet .

Next to me though stands a friend, one I’ve trusted all along,
one who often gave a hand, so dependable and strong,
though he shivers when he too feels the call of grief so deep,
that runs heart and soul straight through, makes the halls and stairs so steep,
and the walk seems endless long
as by the door we hold and stand
and I KNOW something is wrong.

The door opens with a creak, and I see no light, nowhere,.
but a rotting stench, a reek of blood and pain comes to my air,
and I hear a rustling sound, a soft moan in darkness deep,
while I rustles, places count, the room four people here must keep,
another step gone down the stair
and my eyes used to the bleak
see the enemies out there.

They hold prisoners so tight, trembling souls that only pant,,
not a sound, but stench of fright, assaults my nose, I lift my hand,
shuffling growls are heared of threat, if we do not now relent,
they will die a horrid death, massacred where they now stand.
Thus I stammer, and each hand
is clenched in a fist real tight,
but their death -I- would repent.

Then I hear a sudden sound, and my friend has moved so fast
that I stand, he does astound, friend and foe as he flicks past ,
and Arianna moves with him, casts a glance to left and right,
At her gestures fast and trim, the foes prepare themselves for fight,
And I stand, surprised, aghast,
as they wildly look around,
then attack each other fast.

Blood and hair flies all around, as they fight and rip and growl,
and their actions all astound, as one dies with a great howl,
and Mash jumps in to the last, and he angrily does kill
what the other foe did last of his brother, fights untill
only death’s rictus of a scowl
can be seen, their deathcries sound
as Mash’s frontpaws hack and maul.

The prisoners are then grabbed tight, taken quickly far away,
from that place without a light, without fresh air, where they did stay.
Now they’re safe, they live, they breathe, they know life and love again,
but some hold fear, in anger seethe, or are filled with deep deep pain.
so I wonder every day
will their fears and griefs alight?
or will the shadows ever stay..